Tunnel of Love, Indubitably/of Hell

So yesterday was interesting.

The entire system of the Washington, D.C. Metro experienced major malfunctions ranging from loss of power in some stations, to major signal errors in others. All of this of course started at morning rush hour, which I’m sure folks didn’t mind too much. However, it was not fixed, and in fact, had become progressively worse as the day went on. The problems were not fixed by the evening rush hour traffic. That’s when the fun started.

Normally, I take the Orange Line from Farragut West to Metro Center, then hop on a Red Line going to Union Station. All this takes about 15 minutes max if I can time it right. That lets me catch the 6:05 train to Baltimore.

Now. Yesterday that did not happen. I waited for 30 minutes for an Orange Line train to even arrive at my station! Yet in the opposite direction, there was a train leaving the platform every minute or so! Was there a black hole developing in the tunnel system? Where did they all go? Finally, an Orange arrives, yet the people waiting to get on (in the hundreds at this point) do not make it easy for the people that want to get off. By the time the doors close, only TWO people have gotten on the train at my door before the train pulls away. That’s when I knew it was going to be fun. Finally another one a few minutes later. I had resolved that I was going to get on this train, so help me (apologies to the girl with the over-stuffed backpack, but you should have adapted to the flow.) Hooray! The train is off! On to Metro Center, Union Station, and HOME!

But what’s this?
Why is Metro Center full of THRONGS of people? Has it happened here too!? NOOOOOOOO
(Another case of waiting for 30 minutes as the opposite platform enjoys frequent and empty cars) HOWEVER, Metro Center is a major junction point, and all hell has broken loose. I likened the mass of folks to a concert with no band. I waited and watched four cars be awkwardly emptied, and then CRAMMED with hurried commuters. Families were split up, people were yelling, it was every man for himself.

At last! Salvation! I make it on to a train. The touchy doors and the desperate people outside make it impossible to leave the station, which causes the doors to malfunction, the computer to not recognize the doors are closed, and the train operator to call out that the train that hundreds of people risked life and limb to board is now “Out of Service”. I’ll spare you the details, save to say folks put in a few good words. So now everyone that just got on, has to get off. They don’t want to get off, they want on a train; so they exit the car and immediately stop and turn to get as close to the edge of the platform in front of an ever-growing crowd.

Another train comes, and an even more determined crowd enters the danger zone of trying to figure out the physics of getting hundreds of people into a few six foot openings in under a minute. I get on, and am soon surrounded and swallowed up by a few folks who probably should have opted to walk. I was like a noodle in giant rollers. My posture was…well, if there was a song called “I M C A”… I would be the “i”.

Finally, after an hour. I make it to Union Station. Only to find that my beloved 6:05 MARC train was cancelled, and the 6:40 is delayed. So I get to take that one! Hooray! Along with all of the folks that wanted to take the 6:05 train PLUS the folks gunnin’ for the 6:40 train. Again, pandemonium. It was crushing standing room only, but I managed to find a pretty spacious luggage compartment tucked away and read Candide, which I finished. (Note to self: Don’t think for a second that a 125 page book is going to last a week.)

Which brings me to my next tidbit: THe entire premise of Candide is that one must remain in a positive disposition and have an optimistic outlook on life no matter what happens. One must be aware that they are living in the “Best of all possible worlds” and good will come of it. I thought about that as I waited with the throngs. “Hey it could be worse,” I thought “things could be exploding.” So with that mindset, I craked a joke about Metro running on Hamsters and twine, and lightened the mood a little. Plus, it was about 93 degrees above ground, so the folks that were walking had it much worse.

As for my NEW MARC Book of the Week, I have not had a chance to pick one. If anyone has suggestions, I would love to hear them.