Cookie Zen

I would like to introduce you all to our new cookie jar, Darius Rucker. We picked him up at (shudder) Urban Outfitters on the cheap. He was on what I call the “Death Table”, in other words, the table of merch that is “so last season”. I wanted him for even cheaper, and surprised Vanessa by trying to haggle with the cashier to try and lower the price. She didn’t budge. No worries. He is now in a loving home. We also picked up 3 coasters of beaded birds on the cheap too! I will get some images of them later.

So. Cookies. Cookies and I have an intimate relationship. Ever since graduation, I have come to the realization that being an adult is boring. The smell of repetition is heavy on me, and making cookies (be they for Vanessa’s classes, or for pleasure) has become a kind of weekly “zen session” for me. Whatever money problems, world problems, political grumblings…anything that has been grinding my gears…goes away. It’s just me and my tiny Oven Children.

Who is the mother of these Oven Children? Who else? Martha Stewart.

Picked this little baby up for 18 bucks at Safeway a few weeks ago. It has been making heads explode with amazing cookies in both Baltimore and Washington, D.C. I recommend you pick it up. It has tons of great tips, equipment Q&A (like the difference in pastry bags), and is plump with something like 172 cookie recipes all with wonderful accompanying photographs. Here are some photos of what may be my favorite cookie

These cookies are Chocolate Chocolate Chunk with White Chocolate Chips. I am calling them “Brownie Blowouts” or something because they are pretty much flat brownies with tasty chunks o’ choc in them. By the way, no, these are not all for me. Most of them went to Vanessa’s class for birthday celebrations, and a dozen and a half or so went into the stomachs of my coworkers at Edelman. They like cookies too.

Christmas List:

1 Wire cooling rack
1 Silicone Oven mitt to supplement this guy: Otherwise known as Angry Evil Reindeer Oven Mitt. He’s a good boy, he just…frightens the cookies.

Vincent Willem van Gouda van der Rijn Oranje Boom, Ik hou van je:De Dag van het huisvuil

Okay. so.

I have been a cookie-making-machine lately. I will post some pictures (and the recipe to these Chocolate Chocolate Chunk with White Chocolate Chips Cookies [aka Brownie Bites]) in a bit. Yes, read that name correctly. There is a ton of chocolate in those babies, and they-are-marvelous. For those of you that may be unaware, I got an extension for my internship! Hooray!

I get to spend the Christmas and New Year Season hustling around Washington, D.C. For some reason I get psyched when I think about winter in DC. I don’t know why. I have seen the “National Christmas Tree” in the summer, and it is not as majestic as you may think. I actually think there are larger evergreens in my mom’s yard. Stranger still: I always think about the painting George Washington Crossing the Delaware. I know the Delaware River is nowhere near DC. I think it’s just the fact that Washington crossed it around Christmas that makes me think of it. Even with its inaccuracies I think that painting is pretty sweet.

Okay, so Vanessa and I had a pretty interesting discussion last night. I don’t know how many of you think about this, but it’s a great critical thinking activity: NAME THREE (AND ONLY THREE) ITEMS THAT YOU WOULD BRING BACK IN TIME WITH YOU, AND NAME THE TIME PERIOD. Now you may think, “Well, this is easy!” but I urge you to really think about it. If you something uber-technical, you are going to need to bring any support items. That can cut your list pretty quickly. Also, if you are a woman, think about the fact that in some time periods you legally did not exist. Take that into account. It won’t be like Back to the Future where people look at you strange, and then go about their business. I am curious to see what people would bring. I am not going to list mine just yet, as that may influence some answers. Please, leave a comment below as to what you would bring, and when you would go to.

Also: Here is another brain teaser: You get three items, but you are going to the future. Do you bring the same things? Or have you seen Terminator too many times and are brushing up on how to defeat an 800-Series? (I am so sad that I know that) Leave a comment with that response as well.

Here we go again.

VS

UPDATE: Make no mistake, this is not a “Blog 4 McCain”, this is barely a “Blog 4 Obama”.

This should be good. McCain whines about how Obama won’t meet him for town meetings, then tries to postpone the actual legitimately scheduled debate, then says “fine, I am told I am hindering the process anyway” and decides to debate BUT HE WON’T ENJOY IT.

Sounds like a real guy I can get behind, if he would stop shuckin’ and jivin’ all over the place.

In all honesty this is going to be a snooze-fest. Obama is long winded in debates and McCain is going to say how he was a POW and a “maverick” and call people “his friends”. I am glad I don’t own a TV.

What I am waiting for is the Vice-Presidential debates. That is going to be a hot ticket. SNL could not write better stuff. It’s almost as if Palin is employed by The Onion.

Self Help

By Criteria

The sightless leading the blind
You confuse and scare the masses to get behind
Because the world’s stern
But you chose to fight instead and not to learn

Who you kill don’t change:
You killed

How hard is it to say, “I make mistakes”?
We cannot pretend to dance around the cover-up.
If this ain’t no sin to say you never heard
Well then one lies into another

Who protects citizens from presidents?

Nations will try to remind us
Don’t begin what you can’t end
Somebody out there can fight us

But instead we close our eyes and go to war,
it don’t work
It frustrates the cause, it’s making it worse.

Peace, love, understanding
It’s as simple as it sounds if you believe

Leaders will try to blind us
But open minds still see
Officials addicted to crisis
Detoxified with peace

They make war, it don’t work
It frustrates the cause, it’s making it worse

I am ashamed that I voted for you in 2004, and you have turned my wonderful country into this. What have you done to my home?

Loose Lips Might Ignore Shit

The United States of America needs to chill out. The term “for your safety and security” is being over-used. It is not a blanket term to just throw around like cheap newsprint. I cannot stand this phrase. It is everywhere! The Baltimore MTA buses have a recording that actually says “The MTA asks that all passengers be extra vigilant, and on alert…” Vigilant? Really?! What is this, the Third Reich? Be vigilant that the sleepy grandma is nodding off? On alert that there are pirated copies of DVDs being sold on your along with cold left-over slices of pizza? I think the MTA has bigger things to worry about like…oh…having the drivers follow the posted schedules, re-working the routes so there is not one number running 3 or 4 different “loops”, maintaining some semblance of regular schedules as soon as the sun sets. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE waiting for the bus for an hour on a regular basis in the dark. I really have nothing else to do. Really.

Amtrak: You are no better. You made EIGHT “for your safety and security” announcements in a 13 minute time span this morning. I know, I counted. You even made a live announcement as a pre-recorded security announcement was playing! I mean COME-ON, and folks wonder why we are turning into little self-contained worlds with iPods, Blackberries, Blueberries, lemons, iPhones, UPhones, MePhones…It because they are being inundated with endless bull about how much danger they are in.

There is a great song by Stars called Celebration Guns that is incredibly touching. The line “Then the next day, how will you know your enemy? By Their color, or your fear? One by one you can cage them in your freedom, make them all disappear” instantly comes to mind when situations like this happen. Granted, I understand the need for security. I am not an saying do away with all of it. There needs to be certain measures in place, fine. But eavesdropping on the train on folks that “are employed with the Department of Homeland Security” (barf) list off all the measures in place to “hard case” airports is a little disgusting, and most people don’t even know these are in place! Thankfull they were listed in great detail and any problems experienced with them were discussed, along with those of the DC Metro (I know, I know, very Loose Lips Sink Ships) We need to act like the British: KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON.

Hooray Earth!

Charm City is becoming ever-more charming

AND! They are 100% wind powered!

bam thwok

Hello again.
I missed you.

So I am out and about looking for a new job, as my internship is up October 17. I have rent to pay, gotta keep up the checks. This Saturday will consist of what am deeming a “Job Bomb”. I am going to be updating references, my resume, getting leave behinds in order, and arming myself with a phone book and the interwebs to find a gig closer to home. I enjoy the thrill of working in DC, and the people at Edelman are fantastic to work with, they really are. I just want to find something that gets me home before 8pm every night.

I really enjoy going to happy hour and being able to get away from work with them. They are good people

On the Homefront life has not really changed. We are working on getting Internet. That’s pretty exciting for us. Vanessa is working hard teaching the young minds the wonders of our chemically driven world. Some good days, some bad days. I myself am finding that I am much better at coming home, eating a bowl of scrambled eggs, and promptly passing out. Gold star for me. Vanessa and I went to the Ukrainian Festival this past weekend. That was fun. The food was delicious (we live in Pirogi central with the Ukrainian Church and outlaying Ukrainian community along with the Polish community surrounding us). There was a beer– Obolon. My god was it good. I am not a big drinker by any means. This is more of an economic issue than not, but it is handy. Not being completely saturated in alcohol allows me to down a frosty cold Obolon on a hot Baltimore afternoon, and be wonderfully buzzed by the time the bottle is empty! Saves money AND time!

Speaking of money: I have completely washed my hands of the political situation. I am done. I blame it on John McCain. He constantly runs negative ads against Barack Obama and then when ANYONE calls him out on his shit, his entire camp cries foul and whines about it. If you can’t stand the heat McCain, GTFO. Now, normally I consider this part of our country’s election process. I yearn dearly to see how other countries run their elections. Not only in the actual general election itself (ahem Diebold), but advertising and promotion. We have to look like a bunch of 4-year-olds! The offending remark? The whole “Lipstick on a pig” thing. Jesus. If he was using it against Palin, she deserves it. She called herself a Pitbull in lipstick. Why don’t we just keep demeaning ourselves by describing everything we do as an animal in something. This blog is an octopus in Fabreeze. Gee, I hope that the folks a Fabreeze are offended.

Fuck it. I’m voting for Ron Paul and moving to Liechtenstein. Good luck, America.

Heute Ha Ha Habe Ich Geburtstag

Today I am 23 years of age.

Lustig. Lustig. Tra-la-ra-la-ra.

“I’m Not Here To Make Friends, I’m Here To Win.”

I am convulsing. I am foaming at the mouth. I know I used this to describe Baltimore and Micheal Phelps, but now, it’s my turn. Why? What has got me so excited? Everyone has their show- ER, Seinfeld, LOST, Power Rangers, whatever. My show? The Amazing Race. I love this show. Season 13 starts on Sept. 28 at 8pm. That’s 37 days, 9 Hours, and 48 minutes as I write this sentence.

It is my dream to be on this show, and watching the team videos here only makes me more excited. I haven’t chosen my team yet, last season it was Azaria & Hendekea, but they lost in the last episodes and crushed my dreams. Once I see the first episode, see how the teams work out, then I will choose. I can tell you right now, the guy that says “She wants it her way, I want it my way, and if we can’t do that we argue.”, is not a good sign, and will not help win The Race. I am so excited!

I considered trying out for TAR13 when they were having audtions in Seattle last spring, but the wheels of fate were in motion and I decided against it.

I leave you with this little ditty about reality shows: Cliches all around!

A Grasshopper Walks Into A Bar…

So work has been busy. It makes the day go by much faster. Almost too fast, like, eerily fast. We have our production meetings at 9:30, and before you know it, it’s 1:00! To quote a comic I LOATH: “AAK!”

MARC Book of the Week has slowed significantly. I am just too tired when I get on the train. As soon as the train starts to pull away from the station, it’s like someone presses a Decompression Switch, and BOOM. I am out. MARC gave me a bit of a scare the other day. All trains on the Penn Line were delayed. Amtrak, MARC, Regionals, everything. Why? I couldn’t find out at the station, they would not tell me anything. I had to jump on the light rail to Camden Yards (which really made me want to go to an Orioles game) and hop on the Camden Line along with 500 other people.

Why the delay on 3 tracks? Was it a tree, a power failure, a flood? No

I didn’t find out until I got to the office, (who had all heard about the delay because they own televisions): An Amtrak train hit a rail inspector at 5AM that morning. Yes. They hit. a. person. (Mom, I know you just made that “*tsk” noise.) He is okay, as far as I know. He was not killed. I am sure he is probably not too happy with his employer at this time though.

UPDATE: According to a conversation I overheard between an Amtrak employee and a customer waiting for the 6:40 MARC train, the 22-year-old Rail Inspector was hit by a non-stop strain, and “esploded”. I am sorry for his family. RIP.

Well, that makes the rest of the post a little awkward…

I would like to say Happy 49th Anniversary of Union Ascension (Unionization?) to the State of Hawaii. On this date in 1959 you fine folks were admitted as the 50th State in the Union. Whoop it up.

RANT/IDEA DUMP: There is talk going on of many college presidents calling for the drinking age to be lowered to 18 rather than having it remain at 21. This is to prevent binge drinking escapades and promote healthy responsibility. I am for this measure for a few reasons.

1. If you can hold a rifle for Uncle Sam, you should be able to hold a beer.

2. I myself never drank in high school. Some of my friends did, not a big deal. I did consume alcohol once I got into college however, well before I was 21. I also made myself sick being a little overzealous with the drinking at times. Now, I am not talking “*groan* my head hurts, I can’t go to class.” I mean borderline alcohol poisoning. This happened once, and I was smart enough to recognize it, and avoid it in the future. I felt ill for 3 solid days. I can attest and stand as proof that binge drinking is a legitimate danger to college age kids. I still have friends that have not gotten out of the mentality that in order to “have a good time” that means slamming as many drinks as possible as quickly as possible.

3. I don’t know if I am the Odd Man Out on this, but I am going to be 23 next week and rarely drink. Don’t get me wrong, I love beers. I like to try many from all over the world, but I don’t over-do it. Hell, I barely do it. I think if “the European approach” of alcohol responsibility was in place, it would be a much better situation here. In Germany (and I may get this slightly incorrect because I was told it by my host sister many years ago) it is very difficult to get a driver’s license. Alcohol may be consumed “as soon as they can see over the bar”, but if there is even the slightest infraction while driving, especially under the influence, there are severe punishments. I think up to having a license revoked forever plus jail time.

If alcohol wasn’t made out to be a forbidden unicorn that could only be attained by living for 21 years, then kids would not freak out come midnight of year twenty-one. Of course, this does not mean that you should hand your infant a bottle of Merlot and say “Alright kid, it’s time to grow the hell up” , Responsibility and Good Judgment are friends and like to hang out; let them.